We had an argument, you know the one where the more you talk, cry or yell, the worse it gets. No matter what you say, the sick heavy knot in your gut just won't budge and the other person won't either.
We were supposed to be having a holiday away, our favourite place by the beach in winter, the beautiful rocky shores, hills to climb, friends near by and just enough sun to keep you warm when climbing out of the icy surf.
I walked along the beach after our heated exchange and pushed my toes into the sand out of frustration. The beach stretched for kilometres ahead of me and I was going to walk as far as I could.
There were not very many people heading up so far, so I didn't have to hide my tears for long. "Why does it have to be this hard." I thought.
I looked out into the breaking waves, the wind pushing against them making water spray into the air. Walking slower, I focused on the beauty of creation, the simplicity yet complexity of all that God has made, yet it all works in such incredible harmony.
Walking towards the water I stopped in the shallow to cool my tensed up toes. It felt so good as the water lapped up against my ankles, the wind in my hair my eyes focusing as far as I could into the horizon, my mind began to clear. But that knot was still strangling my heart and my stomach was still nauseous from the emotional tension.
In the stillness of that moment, His voice broke through, like the heat of a strong wine warming my chest. " You were made for the midday sun."
Tears fell out of my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. That warmth travelled down to my heart and them settled over my anxious tummy.
I was made to handle this, I was made to withstand challenges, I was made for them, this is where I am most alive. Its hard to understand how knowing that I was not going to be rescued out of this problem made me feel joyful all of the sudden. I was the pot in the kiln, being forged being made strong, the sword in the hand of the blacksmith, I was made for this. I will come out better, stronger purposefully made and useful.
Now the argument became the coals for the heat, not the fire to destroy and soon my soul began to bask in the heat of the sun.
I walked back that day with and overwhelming sense of peace. My head was lifted, my shoulders relieved, I had new strength, forgiveness flowed and love became my single goal.
Proverbs 18:10 ' The name of the Lord is a strong tower: The righteous run to it and are safe.'
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